58. Make lots of Powerful Lists......and review them daily

Powerful women make powerful lists.

We took a look at creating Bucket Lists, which is great practice to set and track long-term and lifelong goals.  Since we've got a whole lifetime ahead of ourselves, let's also take a look at other ways to break down goals into daily lists.  These checklists can be very inspirational in a tangible way - and keep us on our toes constantly!

Here's a quick glance at my Short Term Goals List.  Take a look and think about your short term goals, which can be achieved in a short span of time (like 1 day or up to 12 months). 

How can breaking down goals into action items help shift your life into high-happiness gear?

SPIRITUAL

1. Tithe more responsibly
2. Read the Bible in a Year
3. Join a prayer circle
4. Participate in a mission trip with a local church
5. Set up a JustGive.org account for my home church

CAREER

1. Invite 2-3 colleagues in the field to facilitate a webinar
2. Attend conferences that feed my career goals
3. Listen to at least 1 TED talk each week
4. Create a PPT deck in case I ever need to make a presentation on Strategic Fundraising
5. Research board service opportunities

FINANCIAL

1. Commit to saving enough for a down-payment on a home by the end of the year
2. Save $1,000 to contribute to a non-profit cause
3. Reduce credit card debt by 50% this year

HEALTH AND FITNESS

1. Plant a vertical garden
2. Run a 10K in every city where I have an assignment
3. Join a sports team (like kickball!)
4. Buy a bike (or participate in a bike-sharing program)
5. Take a few classes (Krav Maga / Ballet)

LIFE MANAGEMENT

1. Volunteer in a meaningful way
2. Journal robustly
3. Print updated luggage tags
4. Obtain my global drivers license
5. Learn how to drive a stick-shift car

RECREATION

1. Go to a Clemson Bowl Game
2. Learn how to DJ
3. Learn how to Rollerblade
4. Organize a women's networking event/dinner at least once a year
5. Learn and perform a set of songs by Prince

LEARNING

1. Finish a series of language classes (maybe Polish!)
2. Learn how to play chess and poker (and get really good at both!)
3. Collect great facts about my home state

54. Pay to run from bar to bar in a coordinated fashion within a specific time frame. And sip (or chug) at each one. For a good purpose (DUH!)

The woman shall participate in a creatively costumed pub crawl.

Cool people reside in every zip code.  So do cool pub crawls and the committees that plan them.

A pub crawl (sometimes called a bar tour, bar crawl or bar-hopping) is the act of one or more people drinking in multiple pubs or bars in a single night, normally travelling by foot or bus to each destination and occasionally by cycle.

I'd never heard of SantaCon, but the amazing folks in Augusta, GA, have brought me into this universe of creatively costumed Santas, reindeer, elves, and other numerous holiday support characters that shift their patronage from bar to bar every 45 minutes.

With 12 bars to populate from 4:00 pm till midnight strikes, that's a lot of holiday cheer in a glass.

Here's a shot of the 2014 SantaCon Augusta volunteer committee at work viewing the newest clip of some marketing material.   The final version will be edited soon, and we can't wait to share!

The SantaCon in Augusta is pretty special, as it is one of the few crawls that raises money for a charitable cause.  Each year, SantaCon Augusta raises funds and contributes them to a local nonprofit.  This year, we're partnering with the Ronald McDonald Charities of Augusta as they prepare to open a brand new home in the Garden City (y'all go!).

We've got a few more weeks of planning, nailing down some sponsorships.....and finding (or making) really unique costumes.  If you're interested in joining the holiday fete, take a visit here to get your tickets.

If you're not in the Augusta area, no need to fret - I bet there's a crawl somewhere near your zip code.
The SantaCon website lists all the events that are happening around the globe (323 US cities and 44 countries!!!).

If there's not a SantaCon in your hood, make your community the 324th host...and be sure it benefits a good cause.  It's a great way to ensure the season is extra merry:)


Ho, ho, ho!
 Allyson

52. Give, give, and give.

The woman shall give her time, her talent, and her treasures however and whenever she can.

Giving feels sooooooooooo good - no matter the check size, level of recognition, nor recipient - it feels good, yields good, and it is good.

We've been taught to give as part of who we are.  As members of religious communities, citizens of this generous country, and as participants in global humanity, we give. 

We give when natural disasters occur.
We give to the tin cup held by those without homes.
We give to United Way campaigns directly from our paychecks.
We give to the Girl Scouts when we buy cookies.
We give to numerous causes through the donate-a-dollar option at the cash register.
We tithe.
We volunteer.
We mentor.

Giving is a habit and attitude that is ingrained in our culture both for the benefit of others...
and ourselves. 

What we don't always do, and what I certainly haven't always done, is give regularly.  I've given cheerfully, but not consistently.  I'm working on that piece, and there have been a couple tools to help me along the way. If you're working on the same thing, hopefully, these ideas can help you along your way.

1. Research and become a member of an organization that you wish to support.  Out of sight, out of mind, right?  Well.....keep giving back in your sight:)  Research the organizations that you care the most about.  What's your passion? 

I bet there's a phenomenal organization that enacts a mission in
advocacy
healthcare
the arts
education
social services
that you really dig. 

For the past years, I've researched awesome organizations and asked them to sign me up!

Even though I don't live near all the organizations, contributions help ensure that I support their work for all the communities they serve.  As a member,  I receive frequent reminders about campaigns, fundraising drives, and end-of-year contribution opportunities, which keeps giving back on my radar.

2.  Serve as a board member.  Being a board member offers such great discourse about active giving for a specific purpose.  It's my second year as a board member of the Community Investment Network, and being a part of this dynamic organization has been incredibly enriching.  Giving back is a major component of board service, and it's a privilege to know that you're supporting an organization's work at this level. It makes you responsible about your giving.

3.  Give through automatic deduction.  I was over the moon when an organization that I like to contribute to incorporated an automatic deduction tool to coordinate monthly contributions.  If the organization asked me EVERY month for a donation, that might get annoying.  For me to give a certain amount automatically (and receive an automatic thank you note) each month - I can get down with that!  Take a look at Justgive.org to learn more.


4.  Read about giving.   Check the excerpt from the Good Book below.  We know there are more academic sources, but this is where it all starts for me.  If there are other scriptures that you wish to share, let us know!

Luke 6:38

New International Version (NIV)
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
New Living Translation
"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full--pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back."

51. Bucket Lists

The woman shall, in order to live an aspirational, fulfilling, proactive, and self-directed life, record and execute a bucket list - and look back at it!

We live life in lists - to-do lists, grocery lists, man lists, woman lists, Christmas card recipient lists...and well..the "list" goes on.  One list I've got to work on though (and perhaps you, too?), is the Bucket List. 

The trouble with the bucket list practice is that there are, at times, hefty price-tags attached, and that's always been my stumbling block.  Everything that I want to do is sooooooooooo cost prohibitive, and so I've elected to stay away from producing one.

To my great discovery, though, I recently saw a Facebook post from a very inspirational lady (and proud fellow Clemson alum), and it was so cool to see all of her fun, adventurous, and terrifically interesting items that make for a really cool list.  It was even more awesome to see how many friends were willing to lend their time, talent, and treasures to help reach her goals. 

That was just enough motivation for me to put in some work, and I've compiled the list below.  I'll revisit this blog post on January 4, 2015 to see what I can cross off and what I can add.  Here's to a list of fulfilling fun in 2014! 


ALLYSON'S BUCKET LIST...well, an abbreviated version
(always in draft form, because stuff will be crossed off and added, per life's serendipitous generosity :)

1. Plant a vertical garden
2.  Run a marathon
3.  Type my Mom's journals
4.  Attend a NASCAR event
5.  Tailgate at a Philadelphia Eagles game
6.  Hobnob at the Kentucky Derby
7.  Create and maintain an Official Woman Laws website
8.  Perform a set of songs by Prince at a jazz spot (that means I have to learn how to sing!)
9.  Graduate from a culinary school program and master Spanish food
10. Complete TESOL certification and teach abroad
11.  Learn how to play chess
12.  Learn how to drive a stick shift
13.  Learn how to sing I know I've been changed
13.  Learn Polish
14.  Make really great sushi
15.  Buy a home when the time is right, and with lots of confidence
16.  Run for elected office
17.  Go to the Olympics
18.  Go to Essence Music Festival
19.  Visit Greece
20.  Serve on the board of an arts museum

45. Winter Sports

The woman shall, during each winter and when reasonably affordable, indulge in a winter sport that tests her courage and inspires the thrill of her heart.

I'm back from a fantastic weekend spent in Tamworth, NH, where 4 girlfriends and I took major risks on the slopes.  Well, technically, we never made it to the actual slopes (per the ski instructor's emphatic warnings).  Rather, we stayed on the Magic Carpet and at times, ventured onto the Rope Tow (we knew to stay in our lane!). My good friend Nakia in Boston orchestrated the getaway - cabin, food, wine, and all - thanks, lady!

It was a bit disheartening to watch toddlers swiftly loop and swerve around us, but we gave it our best. It was an incredible time, and topped off with an evening of tubing, we felt like we were kids again.  Next year, ladies, I'm gearing up for the lift!

41. Tip Drills

The woman shall know the correct tip appropriation for her drinks, dining, or treating a highly evolved gentleman to either of the two.

After wrapping up a great meal with a Prosecco, tiramisu, or coffee with Baileys, we know that great conversation will eventually conclude and the bill will be requested.  When we're rolling solo (or with a gentleman that we want to treat), boldly ask for the bill, and already have in your mind the correct percentage for the tip - and always leave a tip.  There's no bigger turn-off than lingering over the math calculations when the bill is presented - and it doesn't matter if you're a guy or gal.

My rule of thumb is that a tip should be the greater of $5 (which would cover a few beers) or 20% (a VERY quick calculation).

Say the bill is $20 at a favorite bar.  Leave a $5 tip for good measure - you'll probably come back!

For bigger bills, employ the 10% twice rule, and adjust accordingly.  Say you're at a fancy schmancy restaurant where your bill is $75- don't DARE pull out a tip card!  10% is $7.50.  Double that to 20%, which will bring you to a $15 tip.  The official woman will know how to do this math in her head.  If there is doubt, round up.

Do the math in your head and sign the check.  Boldly.  You're worth it.

Side note - If you're on a date where the gentleman treats, and the man asks you to calculate the tip, he probably wants you to acknowledge the cost of the meal.  In that case, tip twice as much.  The official man would never allow the bill to even come up in conversation with the official woman.  Plus, the official man knows the value of his own dollar.

This law comes courtesy of Renee (New York, NY).

40. Man Fasts

The woman shall, during periods of dating-life suffocation, interupt the season of romantic pursuits by engaging in a purpose-filled man-fast.

You'd think that after 16 years of practicing something, you'd be good at it right?  That's how long I, along with several highly regarded girlfriends, have been dating, and we haven't found the right stride in quite some time.

We've had some great relationships in our past, but dating in our 30's is very different from dating in our 20's, and sometimes this calls for an evaluation of what we want for our lives.  For the past year, I've buried myself in an extravaganza of failed attempts to make doomed relationships work, and I am sooooooooooo tired.  I feel like the dating life has beat me up - literally.  I've lost sleep, experienced ups and downs with my appetite, and observed lots of lows in the feel-good hormones section.

After my last encounter with a relationship renegade, my good girlfriends talked me into a month-long manfast.  For the next 24 days, I'll not pursue empty love, drool over secret cruches, or stalk former love interests on Facebook.  That's a waste of time. 

I've been engaged in the manfast for about a week now, and my energy has definitely shifted for the better.  Here are a few tips that I've jotted down to keep me (and my accountability partner) on track:

Rules of the manfast:

1. We'll not advance commitments of time, energy, and space towards romantic possibilities.  We'll spend time if asked, but the suggestion cannot come from us.
2. We'll not give any headspace to men.romance.sex.relationships.   If we catch ourselves daydreaming about a wedding, we'll do yoga.
3. We'll not aggrandize genuine interest from highly evolved gentlemen.  Instead, we'll take it at face value and let the pace define itself. 

We'll let you know how the monthlong story goes.

39. The Gym Hair(please!)Do

The woman shall align her hair care practices in a way that supports her participation in physical activities, promotes a consistent fitness regimen, and withstands the occasional rain shower (or dip in the ocean).

This particular law is a call to action (or a call to consideration, depending on where you are on the natural scale) especially for African American women.  It's not for every audience - but please accept it with the love and tenderness that I'm enclosing.

I came across an article in the Winston Salem Journal this week that emphasized how the hair care practices of black women prevent them from participating in physical excercise. I thought the article was incredibly one-sided, and it didn't represent the evolving priorities of ethnic women. Regardless of my personal reaction, an observation about OUR stuff is on the front page of a newspaper in North Carolina....which means maybe we should be taking an in-depth look, too.

When I think of my closest friends who are African American like me, concern about health and well-being (and a good shape!) are a huge priority.  My good friend Renee in NYC (who went natural last year) has always been a gym citizen.  My girl Nicole in Atlanta was the one who convinced me to join Clemson's rowing team years ago (she had braids and I rocked the big chop in 1998).  Both women are absolutely gorgeous, and they have always held health and fitness as huge priorities for years. Since I've known them, they've managed to maintain their hair around their lifestyles and not maintain their lifestyles around their hair. 

I've heard women mention that they don't want to get their hair wet or sweat out their perm (and I was in that camp during the days of my press and curl, believe me!), but I do want to gently suggest that we think about rearranging our priorities here and consider the well-being of our bodies and health as we make visits to the beauty salon. 

Our own health, fitness, and long-term well-being are being sacrificed to meet someone else's standard of beauty - is this where we really are?

America is counting our cases of obesity, diabetes.......and death - and while I know there's a huge constituency of women who work out like Flo Jo, there's also a group of us who have been ignoring gym memberships and 2K runs for sometime.

If you're in the sweat-a-lot category, good for you!  Work out.run.zumba.bike.lift and keep beating your PB numbers. Take it a step further and bring a girlfriend with you, and keep nagging till she comes!  Encouragement is all she needs.

If you're considering adding a physical element to your life - go for it, lady!  You're already a step ahead of where you were before.  There are ways to look cute and work out (consider sweat headbands, braids, natural styles, etc.) - you owe it to yourself and your family.  They want you around for a while!

38. Muscle Cars

The woman shall, at some point in her life, own/rent and periodically open up on the highway, the muscle car of her (and the highly evolved gentleman's) dreams.

Space-conscious and eco-friendly cars are certainly on trend, and understandably so.  They are a part of the solution to long-standing global environmental challenges, they save on gas consumption, and they are easy to manage, house, park, and maintain.

I've always driven cars that fit my lifestyle needs.  During my freshman year at Clemson, I drove a 4-door Kia (to which I creatively attached a bike rack in the silly effort to make the car appear longer), and afterwards followed a series of small SUV-ish type cars that suited my needs (I moved around A LOT and was always transporting large items).

I had to rent a car on a trip to Ottawa, and the guy at the rental spot told me he could rent me a Chevrolet Camaro for $100 less than the SUV that I had an eye on.  Being one to exercise financial responsibility, I took him up on his offer.  The way that it drove, the panel inside and the vvvvroooom that made my liver quiver was sufficiently convincing.  Four months later, I bought one in white.

I've slid into my 30's, and the vehicle purchase that I've made really suits my current lifestyle.  I roll with my two Bichons (Winne and Oui Oui), and they don't need much space - they're not even in the car that often.  My grocery bags aren't that plentiful, and I don't make trips to Home Depot these days. Sooooooooooooo, the Camaro is perfect for me, my life, and my road trips:)

A tip for ya - I've learned that muscle cars aren't the best for backseat passengers - they are purposely suited to fulfill the driver.  Also, muscle cars require a good bit of maintenance.  I used to let oil changes slip past the due date, but the muscle ride will let you know when she needs attenion.  Also, you've got to keep a good car looking shiny and new.  My white Cam was all 50 shades of gray this week, but luckily I found the best car washing business in town.

Every woman needs to step out of a car that makes her feel confident, gorgeous, and ready for the day ahead. It helps if your ride draws great comments from cute guys, too!  Before family days set in and you need the mini-van, jeep, SUV, or station wagons (do car companies still make those?), get yourself a muscle car and roll out on dubs, music on full blast.

If a different car isn't in the budget for the next few years, rent a muscle ride - matter of fact, do it this weekend!  It'll change your life. Promise.

36. Dinner Parties

The woman shall periodically host dinner (or dessert, or perhaps even wine) parties to enjoy the company of her great friends, embrace the opportunity to meet new people, and to become familiar with the best culinary joints in her town.

Work has me moving every 2-3 months or so, and it's really tough to meet good folks in that short amount of time.   So....to advance building my social life (and to maintain my sanity!), I've gotten hip to organizing the kind of events that I'd like to attend.  These low maintenance get-togethers at area restaurants are always casual, and they are designed with the intention of bringing new folks into the fold.

Our first get-together back in November was at a local wine bar, and right after, we had an awesome dinner (to which we invited progressive and highly evolved gentemen). Depending on what's going on, we'll organize them once or maybe twice a month.  Each time, friends bring friends, and we get to connect with new and interesting people. 

Here are some incredibly helpful tools that we use to plan our monthly dinners:

1. www.Restaurant.com - Best website to help you find the ideal cuisine (and cost!) in your town. 
2. www.Evite.com - I love these templates!  They make planning dinner parties sooooo easy.  All you do is design the invite, load in some e-mail addys, and make reservations at a favorite restaurant. Done!
3. www.Meet-up.com - This is a great way to meet ladies in your town who have similar interests.  Lots of times, Meet-up groups will convene around dinner, drinks, or coffee.  Take a look at what you can find.

Quick tip - Try to organize your dinner parties on Tuesdays or Thursdays.  That gives folks something to look forward to on otherwise commonly open evenings.  Also, I send a Save-The-Date a few weeks ahead just so it's on the calendar.

Forget cocktail hour - give me good food and good friends anytime!

34. Gentleman Friends

The woman shall enjoy, indulge in, and learn from her genuinely platonic friendships with gentleman counterparts.

We love our girlfriends!  However, there is an undeniable value of having male friends that can offer a completely different point of view, insight into priorities that aren't even on our feminine radar, and participation in masculine activities that we'd otherwise prefer not to encourage.

Prime example - I've never been into the techie part of choosing TV's.  Matter of fact, I don't even own a TV (I live in hotels, and that's a totally separate post).  However, spending time with two of the coolest cats I know this past weekend showed me the universe that I've been ignoring.  We watched one of the Transformers movies (was it 2 or 3?), and the 3D imaging on that huge screen was astounding! 

While I'm usually uplifted by a new shade of coral in the OPI nail color line, spending some time bonding with my male buddies (and enjoying the awesome surround sound, too!) showed me a world that's quite different from my own.  Also, since we're not romantically tied, there was no nervousness, flirtation, or unreal expectations - just straight up kickin' it. I think we need more of that in our world.

Thanks for being my buddies, Antoine (soon to be Raleigh, NC) and Peter (Charlotte, NC).

31. Major National Celebrations

 

 

The woman shall exercise every opportunity to participate in at least one major national occasion or celebratory event in her life.

It's Inauguration 2013 Eve, and I am incredibly excited!!!  Early tomorrow morning, I'll be in the Yellow Section to witness the inauguration ceremony of President Barack Obama.  I was there in 2009, and although I'm not looking forward to the weather, I'll withstand it proudly for POTUS and FLOTUS!

I was wondering whether or not to go, but a few thoughts were shared gently with me:

1. This is mindblowing US history!  How can I tell my future children that Mommy wasn't on site at a historical event because she was too lazy.cold.tired.a loser? 
2. There are millions of people who labored, campaigned, and worked to get President Obama in office.  This inauguration is like a great big present for the USA!  How can I not be there to receive it?  Thanks, y'all!!!!!!!
3. When POTUS looks out as he's being sworn in, he won't see me, but he'll see the millions like me who are grateful for his continued leadership. Glad to be part of the crowd!

Big thanks to Angela (Washington, DC), Deontée (Birmingham, AL), and Terry and Gillian (both of Hilton Head Island, SC) for your awesome commitment.

28. Traveling Abroad

The woman shall begin travelling, studying, or working abroad as soon as possible;  if she is no longer of college age, she shall research chaperone opportunities to travel with and mentor college-age women.

I was a freshman at Clemson University...majoring in Spanish language & International trade, and I had the good fortune to learn about the numerous programs that were set up through the Clemson University Study Abroad office (if your college/university doesn't have one, I bet they have a partnership with another school in your state that does). 

For the summer after my freshman year, I went to Spain;  after my sophomore year, to Uganda, and after the junior year, to Mexico. 

If you're interested in working or studying abroad soon, it'd be great to plan out how that can happen. 

Here are a few ideas that could be helpful:

1. Look in not-so-obvious places.  For the summer stint in Uganda, I participated in a research fellowship that was sponsored and funded by CUNY (City University of New York).  As it turns out, a professor at Clemson U.  helped to organize the program, and he submitted my application.  He was a professor in engineering (very far away from my language department!), but another professor who knew about my travel addiction put us in touch.....and Voila!
2. Research scholarships.  There is sooooooo much funding available for studying abroad, particularly in concentrations like language and architecture, etc. whose subject matter deals with material that is located in different parts of the world.  Perhaps you could write it off as professional development. 
3. Keep an eye out for conferences. 
 Attending a conference abroad might not substantiate the cost in your supervisor's eyes, but what if you were invited to participate in a conference in say, Brazil!?!?!!??!   Research conferences, submit presentation ideas, and see what happens.  Many organizations that coordinate conferences offer to support a portion (if not all!) of participants' travel and accommodation fees. Start looking!

27. Community Networks

The woman shall be familiar with the organizations and popular clubs supported by other women in her community of dwelling. 

The good life is right in front of you - or perhaps across the street. There are so many community organizations (YWCA, churches, Meet-Up.com crews, etc.) that offer kinship with other women who share your interests, priorities, and tastes. 

Surrounding yourself with new female energy is a great way to feed new inspiration and color into your life. Closely research the organizations and establishments that aren't on your typical radar.

For example, take a look at ClubCore.  The country clubs are not just for the boys anymore.  I just joined the one in Winston-Salem, NC, and although the meetings, events, and monthly complimentary dinners are well worth the month-to-month fee, the friendships with like-minded women are priceless.

17. Favorite Sports Teams

The woman shall know the current stats of a favorite team and attempt to talk smack in the presence of rival fans.

The athletic culture is a global phenomenon, and it's a language that most men speak.  It's amazing that a man can talk sports to any other man, and they automatically have a common bond.

I've never been around a crew that heavily talks about, engages in, or participates in tail-gating, game-watching, or talking smack about rival teams. 

This changed a few months ago once I made the decision to become more familiar with the universe of sports - and the Philadelphia Eagles.

I'd recommend picking your favorite city and your favorite sport, and then make an honest effort to follow that that team.  Take a look at the hot players and keep an eye on the game schedule.  You never know who might have mutual team taste.

13. Signature Drinks

The woman shall not be stuck at the bar without a clue.

If you're out and about with the girls, on a date with that special gentleman, or at a company function (where you've ensured that your colleagues and supervisor have already ordered tasty spirits), know what you like and how to order it.

Don't just ask for a glass of white wine.

Don't mispronounce Cabernet.

Don't have what he's having.

Do your homework, and order something that's tasty,and try to order something more original than a cosmo, too!  For me, St. Germaine's with a splash of Smirnoff's and club soda does the trick everytime!

12. Your DreamTeam

The woman shall have the appropriate support team in place. 

Depending on your lifestyle, location, and priorities, your DreamTeam may be drastically different from that of your gal pals.  But, if you have a great team in place, feel free to make recommendations to those ladies who just might need it.

Some team member ideas:

1. The hair stylist who knows your curl pattern, age, and face structure
2. The perfect local spa
3. The inexpensive nail spot that can do a quick mani/pedi for like $35
4. The tailor that knows curves well and how to drape fabric fantastically
5. The 24-hour pharmacy